Mama Munches Her Way Toward Jail

It was spring! Mama loved the spring weather. In the springtime Mama was a determined forager; not by force, but by habit. She was a wanderer of sorts who nibbled her way to greener pastures. She figured out how to escape from practically every fence we had made to contain her.

One day upon my return from school to the old farmhouse, the front door was slightly ajar. No cars were in the driveway so I entered the house with caution. Well, I didn’t get very far before I discovered Mama in the living room eating our coveted rubber tree plant -- one that had been in the family for years! She had the plant out of the container, a skinny little tree trunk in her mouth, roots on one end and leaves on the other. It was as if she were holding a rose in her mouth, somewhat like a Tango dancer, but a bit more voraciously.

Mama and I met eye-to-eye for a moment, then suddenly the little tree trunk snapped in two and that was the end of the plant. Mama kept what she could in her mouth while I escorted her back to her shed. Once again Dad had to go back to the drawing board to figure out how to keep Mama from escaping!

While Dad continued to try and outsmart Mama, she continued to escape. Mama’s trailblazing days ended quickly however, after the police got involved. I had just stepped down off the bus and my brother was behind me. We were walking toward the old farmhouse when we saw a patrol car driving by with Mama in the back seat!

We hailed the police car yelling, “That’s our goat! Are you taking her in?” The police officer saw our frantic gestures and heard our shouts. He slowed down, and then finally stopped the car. As we approached the vehicle he stepped out and asked if the goat in the back seat was ours. We assured him she was our goat, and he proceeded to tell us why she was in the police car. She had escaped from her pen, wandered across the street, and ate all of the neighbor’s prized flowers growing in her garden. Well, Mama wasn’t entirely guilty of eating the plants, only the flowers! After all, there were stubs left where the flowers used to be.

Our neighbor was beside herself and wanted Mama to be punished. She had called the police, and when the officer came, he had no choice but to put Mama in the backseat of his police car. He then drove Mama to our farmhouse and found Mama’s pen, but reasoned that everyone was either at school or at work. The police officer knew that she was an escapee and would only escape again if he tried to put her back in the pen. So he had no choice but to put Mama back in the police car and take her down to the station. He wasn’t sure what they were going to do with her when he arrived at the station. Would real bars even contain her, or would she eat her way through those too?

When the police officer saw us he was more than happy to release Mama with a warning. She had shed all over the back seat not to mention leaving deposits of lots of goat doo-doo. The police officer figured she was nervous, but I told him that was commonplace for Mama. I explained that she passed most of her time eating or doo-dooing, usually both simultaneously. She was practically an eating and doo-dooing machine.

The police officer let Mama off with a warning that she was to stay out of other people’s yards and could not eat their belongings. He also suggested we do something about the neighbor’s flowers. Not that we could do much for her this year, but at least we could apologize for the inconvenience.

Well, Dad finally outsmarted Mama and she stayed in her pen. She let us know she was not happy about it when we walked by. So, we included Mama on our walks after school and when we all hung out on the porch in front of the living room to watch the sunset, Mama hung with us too. We put Mama to sleep at night in her pen and she did not seem to be contemplating escape as long as she was able to roam with the dogs, walk and visit with the family she seemed happy. Maybe she dreamed of greener pastures in her own yard at the old farmhouse from there on in.

The next post on Mama will be about the time she ruined my brother's image. If you have any funny goat stories I'd love to hear them! It would be my pleasure to post your story right here on the goat story blog!



Goats on a green roof! Perfect grassy hill for them! Green roofs are good insulators and help protect the roof below the green grass. The sunlight does not penetrate the roof which means a longer lasting roof. A green roof helps to curb aging and erosion on the roof such as cracking, curling and pealing. As long as the goats have plenty to eat, they won't eat the green roof!

Illustrated Goats in this post are from
http://www.cafepress.com/getyergoat
They have a great selection of goat T-shirts!

Mama was a hunter!

From a herd of prospective goats, Mama goat was "hired" over several other goats because she seemed to have a much more intelligent look in her eyes. She stayed with us as a hired hand for more than a year. She was a dual-task worker: her jobs were to clear out the blackberry bushes and provide goat's milk.

She performed her duties with a diligence that was second to none! But Mama wanted more.When we took the dogs out to hunt for pheasant, she just had to go; if left behind she would pitch a fit and throw a tantrum! Mama thought she was one of the dogs, and she was therefore entitled to hunt.

On the hunt, Kimberly, our German short hair champion hunter with pedigree papers, had to put up both with her side-kick, Jerome, and Mama. Jerome was a stray male dog that wondered in one day, and decided to stay on. He loved Kimberly dearly! So, when it was the right moment for Kimberly to flush the birds out of the bushes, Jerome didn't mess with her. Mama on the other hand, had no such tact. She blew it every time!

Kimberly would point, stand at guard, and then when it was just about time..... Mama would yell "behhhhh behhhh!" and click her heals. She always knew something was going down but wasn't quite sure why there was so much intensity in the air. She refused to stand still and be quiet.

Poor Kimberly, she really was an excellent hunter and smart too! Mama was an even match however and usually got the better of things.

Next blog I'll talk about Mama getting arrested, hauled away in a police car and on her way to "the station". I promise to come back more often! Where are the rest of the goat story tellers?


Billy Bob! Without the belt buckle!
These are not photos of Mama. These goat photos were taken in Switzerland last year. Mama is from my younger years....Alas, I have no photos of her.